MOVIE REVIEW: Space Cadet

However, at some point, Space Cadet has to realize they are planting this character in a profession that demands high qualifications for a reason. For all the wonder surrounding being an astronaut, it’s a job that has life and death risks and consequences. Real astronauts busted their tails and became experts in their field legitimately. Space Cadet asking us to swallow their narrative with Rex besmirches that revered history and belittles the importance of program to a borderline disrespectful level.

1 STAR, 2024, MOVIE REVIEW, StreamingDon ShanahanJuly 6, 2024Space Cadet, Emma RobertsComment

MOVIE REVIEW: Hypnotic

Robert Rodriguez’s Hypnotic situates itself as a shining example of over-explanation messing up promising ideas. It should come as no surprise to those who have enjoyed the filmmaker’s distinctive works over the years that Rodriguez has a hell of a starting concept and escalating rub. The trouble is he and MonsterVerse screenwriter Max Borenstein think more is more.

1 STAR, 2023, MOVIE REVIEWDon ShanahanMay 13, 2023Ben Affleck, Alice Braga, William Fichtner, Robert Rodriguez, HypnoticComment

MOVIE REVIEW: Mamma Mafia

Because the concept is inexplicable from the get-go, a movie like Mamma Mafia has two routes to pull the whole thing off. Play it hard and show the perceived violent world that exists or lean on the inexplicable and ham it up. The screenplay from Kevin from Work TV writers J. Michael Feldman and Debbie Jhoon– based on an original story from Madame’s Amanda Sthers– tries both and the results are messier than the botched murders in the movie itself.

1 STAR, 2023, MOVIE REVIEWDon ShanahanApril 13, 2023Mamma Mafia, Toni ColletteComment

MOVIE REVIEW: The Princess

No matter how tough some stunt training makes Joey King look in this action romp, she looks like the cherubic California kid from The Kissing Booth Netflix movie series trying to play dress-up. Add in a rough script requiring her to deliver lines with one of the worst attempts at a breathy European accent of etiquette this side of Kevin Costner in Robin Hood: The Prince of Thieves . Because King is the lead, compared to those supporting role examples, her failings are enough to sink the whole movie.

2022, 1 STAR, MOVIE REVIEW, StreamingDon ShanahanJuly 2, 2022The Princess, Joey KingComment

MOVIE REVIEW: Deep Water

The cold hearts, jealous places, and mental battles of Deep Water slip into near despondency without a resonating grip. When it’s all said and done, the movie is not violent enough for HBO, not sexy enough for old school Cinemax, not polished enough for a major studio release, and not shocking enough for Netflix’s water cooler buzz desire to ensure a subscriber spike. That’s an embarrassing end result of mediocrity.

1 STAR, 2022, Home Media, MOVIE REVIEW, StreamingDon ShanahanMarch 17, 2022Deep Water, Adrian Lyne, Ben Affleck, Ana de ArmasComment

MOVIE REVIEW: Thunder Force

This is the fifth husband-and-wife/director-and-star collaboration between Ben Falcone and Melissa McCarthy. Sure, the Frank Sonnnenberg saying of “If work isn’t fun, you’re not playing on the right team” applies to this ensemble. Everyone’s clearly having fun but the “because I’m fun” lines aren’t enough this time. Once again, we’ve seen these “think before you act” and “don’t get carried away” manchild pleadings too much outside of superhero costumes to be duped into enjoying them just because they’re now clad in muscular leather and special effects.

1 STAR, 2021, ADVANCE MOVIE REVIEW, Home Media, MOVIE REVIEW, StreamingDon ShanahanApril 9, 2021Comment

MOVIE REVIEW: Wild Mountain Thyme

Unfortunately, this moment of the borrowed title song getting its proper spotlight is the rustic crest of this movie. Wild Mountain Thyme tries so hard to climb higher. Its romance is constantly saddled with blindness that misses the point of the lyrics. It’s as if the refrain of “will ye go” in the song is stuck by the living embodiment of “s--t or get off the pot” instead. There’s real beauty there, it’s a shame the movie didn’t have it other than the scenery. In the words of one of Ireland’s ancient language, dia ár sábháil!

1 STAR, 2020, ADVANCE MOVIE REVIEW, Home Media, Independent Film, MOVIE REVIEW, Streaming, Video on DemandDon ShanahanDecember 9, 2020Comment

MOVIE REVIEW: Antebellum

On so many levels, Antebellum and its premise were not anywhere close to good ideas. With every pendulum swinging between power and abuse and between dominance and defiance, this wannabe mindf--k movie does not achieve enough of that aforementioned justification. Even with a determined performance from Janelle Monáe, this is a distressing and unnecessary inquisition with no solid answers.

2020, 1 STAR, ADVANCE MOVIE REVIEW, Home Media, MOVIE REVIEW, StreamingDon ShanahanSeptember 19, 2020Antebellum, Janelle MonaeComment

MOVIE REVIEW: The Departure

There is an almost teenage-level of absurdity to it all by the time the finger-pointing sparks conflict. Too much torrid steam in The Departure is off-screen and too little rancor coalesces and festers to truly shock. Within its establishing transitions, the film drops a suggestive cover of “Where Did you Sleep Last Night?” but the whole movie is more Leadbelly than Nirvana with dramatic edge and execution.

2020, ADVANCE MOVIE REVIEW, Independent Film, Home Media, MOVIE REVIEW, SHORT FILMS, Streaming, Video on Demand, 1 STARDon ShanahanJune 12, 2020Comment

MOVIE REVIEW: Coffee & Kareem

Those posters clearly catch the eye, but once Coffee & Kareem attempts to evoke the promotional notion that it is worthy of standing next to classic giants like those three films as a homage or even as an lesser riff, it’s asking to bomb. When you fail, even intentionally, you become one more shitty cop movie from a generation ago. Does someone get an award somewhere from some lofty agency of aficionados when you make a shitty cop movie precisely as shitty as the old shitty cop movies this shitty cop movie emulates and remembers? Is that a Razzie or something else?

MOVIE REVIEW: Dark Phoenix

Whereas Days of Future Past was a face-lifting and jump-starting franchise savior, Dark Phoenix following X-Men: Apocalypse has become the moment of collapse. And it’s not solely because Fox was bought by Disney. Simon Kinberg and company have run out of juice to tell an interesting story sufficiently after multiple chances. When you watch this new movie and actually miss the gaudy theatrics of X-Men: The Last Stand because it at least tried, that’s a very surprising and telling thing.

MOVIE REVIEW: Kings

Take Kings as how a foreigner sees our plights, troubles, and history. Ergüven has talent but comes across as tone deaf when trying for tribute out of this script that she’s been sitting on since 2011. What should be a spike through the heart gets washed away by the time a sunny Motown cover song tries to become a palette-cleansing “everything’s fine” coda and exhale moment in the end credits. Even as pure dramatization, Kings is an irresponsibly aimless one.

1 STAR, 2017, 2018, Independent Film, MOVIE REVIEW, Video on DemandDon ShanahanApril 27, 2018Comment