Not Like In The Movies: Flicks That Provide Unrealistic Ideas About Sex

by Kevin Gardner

When your parents gave you "the talk," it is likely that they advised you in some way or another not to get your ideas about intimacy from the big screen. Media portrayals of sex can often be misleading at best, and are downright harmful in a lot of cases. While these movies can be entertaining to watch, it is important to take the information they give you with a grain of salt, and not base your real-life actions on them. From the hilariously cringy movies to the ones with scenes you wished you could act out with your crush, here are some titles that give a perspective on sex that is not quite true-to-life.

50 Shades Of Grey

There is a lot about this movie that is unrealistic, but it might not be for the reasons you think. While there is a portion of the population that engages in healthy BDSM dynamics during sex, the way that 50 Shades portrays the inner workings of the kink/BDSM community is not accurate to real life. Unlike what is shown in the movie, actual BDSM is based around consent, honesty, and participating in a proper amount of aftercare with your partner. Movies like this can normalize assault and abuse, leading people within the community to believe that such behavior is acceptable. 

Blue Is The Warmest Colour

Lesbian sex scenes are often designed to cater to the male gaze rather than to be a realistic portrayal of sex between two women. The sex scenes in Blue is the Warmest Colour are no exception. In addition to many individuals saying that the scenes felt cold and unfeeling, several people have pondered how, after eating such a large amount of pasta, it is possible to use your mattress for sex and not for a lengthy nap. Regardless, a movie about lesbians created by a straight man is bound to leave out important details that come from the lived experiences of queer women, themselves, and shouldn't be used as a compass for how same-sex intimacy between women should look.

The Crying Game

This movie is just one of many that portray sex with a transgender individual in a negative light. In this sex scene, the character in question, Dil, undresses in preparation for what she hopes will be an intimate interaction with her lover, Fergus. In his reaction, Fergus physically attacks Dil before rushing to vomit in the toilet, obviously feeling disgusted and taken advantage of. While this scene is accurate in one sense (many people do in fact react this way when confronted with the idea that they have developed feelings for a transgender person), there is also an element that plays into the false narrative that transgender people are deceptive simply by existing in their own bodies. Movies like this perpetuate the idea that it is okay to react like this in response to discovering that a person is trans.

Titanic

As frequently as the media likes to depict couples having sex inside of cars, this kind of sex never works out well. Cars are cramped and awkward, and trying to maneuver two adult bodies in the back seat of a vehicle can lead to a lot of discomforts, at best, and likely leave you with injuries. It is most likely that the steam on the window was from the two of them working up a sweat trying to get into a comfortable position, and that Rose's hand pressed up against the glass was a plea for help. Car sex just isn't as good as movies make it out to be.

Of course, it is silly to expect all the movies you watch to be completely accurate in every way. If this were the case, movies like The Lord of the Rings trilogy would be very boring to watch. However, it is important to keep in mind the way that certain inaccuracies can shape the way we view the world and interact with other people, especially when it comes to sex and intimacy.